Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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