Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize