absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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