your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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