as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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