Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
