We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I puked a lego.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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