Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
