HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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