She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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