she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
