roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
