just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
