Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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