College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
