Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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