Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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