I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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