You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
even my farts smell like vagina
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
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I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
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Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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