from now on my penis is your penis
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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