Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
being pregnant is like rehab
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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