Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
