He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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