people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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