I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
