You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
