she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
did i walk over a car last night?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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