My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
