WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
