We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
we should paint friendship bongs
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