Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm going to jail i love you
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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