so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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