My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
