gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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