wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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