i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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