i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
