Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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