I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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