Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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