Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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