i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
