Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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