Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
