Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
