you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
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You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
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Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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