Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
