just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize