I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
