my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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