Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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