Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
