i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
