i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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