The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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