I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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