This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
