Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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