i would punch a child for taco bell
I look better un-naked...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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